Sexual Intercourse

Coitus, Making love, Screwing, Taking the tug boat to Tuna Town, Slapping the salami, Getting laid, Getting lucky, Badda bing badda bang!

Many references define sexual intercourse as the following: When a man inserts his penis inside the woman's vagina. This apparently is all that's required for an event to be referred to as sexual intercourse. Fortunately sex usually lasts longer than the time it takes for one thrust. For those of you who want to know what sex is really like, Body Teen has provided a slightly more thorough description...

Body Teen Bulletin: If you are questioning your sexuality and would like more information on homosexual forms of intercourse, contact the following organizations...
National Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Youth Hotline
National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth

How to Have Sex

(for heterosexuals)
Foreplay: Before having sex a man and woman must both be willing and receptive. The way you prepare each other for sex is through foreplay. Foreplay is crucial, because it arouses the woman so she'll produce more lubrication and will relax her vaginal muscles to make sex easier and more enjoyable. Foreplay can be anything you do to sexually arouse the other, excluding sexual intercourse. Kissing, hugging, whispering, massaging, undressing, caressing, rubbing, tickling, rolling around together, dancing for each other, running your fingers through each other's hair... These are all forms of foreplay. You can use many parts of your body all at once to stimulate your partner, including your hands, fingers, tongue, eyelashes, voice, lips, breath, thigh, butt, hair, etc. Areas to target could be absolutely anywhere on the surface of the body. Once the male is turned on by the female or by his own imagination, his penis will automatically begin to stiffen toward an erection. This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. At this time, often before the man is aware, a drop of fluid called the pre-ejaculate commonly escapes from the tip of the penis. If he has recently ejaculated this drop can contain thousands of sperm capable of fertilizing an egg. So you should keep your penis away from the vagina at this point until a condom has been placed over it.

Once you have both become excited and both decide to proceed with sexual intercourse, it is time for the most important aspect of foreplay... Putting on the condom, and applying spermicidal foam inside the vagina. If the woman is on birth control pills and hasn't missed any doses in the last month, just using a condom will protect you from pregnancy. NEVER fail to use a condom. If you do you're playing with your own death, your disrespecting your partner's health, and your playing with the possible life of a new baby. Using birth control can be an exciting part of foreplay. When you are both turned on, the man can say something like "You're driving me crazy! I must have you right now!" At this point he can whip out a condom. Tear the wrapper off with his teeth (Be careful not to damage the condom) and put it on as she watches. This builds anticipation and can be very exciting for the woman. Or, the woman can pull out the condom, tear it with her teeth, kiss the man's chest and place the condom on the penis. This is a turn on for any guy. The man can turn spermicidal foam into an erotic ritual, by saying something sexy while squirting it into the vagina like, "This is what I'm, going to do to you, would you like that?" Have fun and be creative with protection.

Once the woman is wet and you've put the condom on, you're ready to go in. Some condoms come with a lubricant which dries when exposed to the air for too long, so it might help to put the condom on when you're ready to enter the vagina. If you've tried everything you can, the woman is turned on, but isn't getting wet, than use a water-based lubricant on her vulva. You could use saliva, but it carries with it more risk.

If this is the female's first time, be very gentle. First time sex can be quite painful for the female. A virgin has a hymen (a flap of skin also known as a cherry) that covers her vaginal opening. Some virgins might have broken their hymen during athletics such as biking, gymnastics, dancing or horseback riding. If still intact the hymen is torn during sex and the vaginal wall is stretched for the first time as the penis enters. So guys if it's her first time, be very gentle and patient. Girls, sex gets much, much better after the first time. I could address the pain that is felt by males the first time they come, but by the time they're ready to have sexual intercourse, they probably have already experienced coming during masturbation. Stop kidding yourselves Ð you masturbate Ð we all do. If it is the males first time having sex, the female might want to help quide the man's penis into vaginal orifice. This task is more difficult than it seems and can be embarrasing for a guy if he has trouble. To help, a guy can slip his fingers in between the vaginal lips, feel for the vaginal orifice, and hold his fingers near its edge while he inserts his penis. If you need to, review female external genitalia.

The penis is usually slowly inserted at first. If this is your first time with this particular woman, you might want to be conservative on your first insertion. It could have been some time since she last had sex, so she might need a little time for her vagina to loosen up. During sex the penis is repeatedly inserted and retracted while usually leaving the tip inside the vagina. Women are advised to relax in order to invite the penis inside your body and to aid in lubrication. Your bodies will take on a rhythm. At this point the woman might want to tighten up to provide a more pleasurable fit. To do this, flex the same muscles you would use when holding in your urine or fart (sorry for ruining the mood). The penis and vagina are only one part of having sex. The rest of your bodies are available for caressing, rubbing, spanking, grabbing, kissing, licking, etc. If the female is grabbing you, smiling, closing or rolling back her eyes, and moaning loudly, it generally means you're doing something right and you should keep doing it. Some women are dissapointed when a man has found the perfect technique, and then changes his technique for the worse, before the woman reaches orgasm.

Women, if you want to "come" a few things have to happen. You have to be comfortable with your body and your mate, meaning emotionally relaxed. This will allow you to let yourself go and get "lost in the experience". You also need to be stimulated enough to come. Masturbation can help you become more comfortable pleasuring yourself while naked, which can help you reach orgasm with a partner as well.

The Female Orgasm

Once the woman reaches a certain plateau state of arousal, stimulation of her clitoris and/or vaginal stimulation during intercourse can result in an orgasm. Remember, women are all unique. Some orgasm easily, while others never experience an orgasm their entire life. A woman can improve her chances for orgasm a couple different ways...

Let your partner know what brings you the most pleasure. If the male is doing something that's really pleasuring you, let him know in an obvious way, so he learns what you like best, and so he doesn't stop before you reach orgasm. Discuss what you like with your partner. One of the good things about being monogamous is that you both have the time and desire to learn exactly what turns each other on. The emotional ties that develop can also enhance pleasure.

Learn to be comfortable with your body. Women who don't feel attractive or who are self-conscious may not be able to relax enough to achieve orgasm. A partner can help by expressing verbally how beautiful he feels his partner is and by treating her as the beautiful woman she is through massage, kissing, and cuddling. Giving the woman a full body massage will relax her, and can be a turn on for both partners. The woman can focus on the parts of her that are beautiful instead of the parts she is not comfortable with. It also may simply take some time with the same partner for the woman to feel comfortable with that partner.

Get vocal. Don't be afraid to express yourself vocally. There is no better turn on for a guy than a woman who is genuinely vocal. Express how you feel. Sigh, moan, whimper, yell, gasp, etc. Making noise will relax you, and allow you to fully enjoy the experience.

Masturbation Masturbation can teach you to be more comfortable with your body. It can teach you what specific things give you the most sexual arousal. You can then let your partner know what he should do, by telling him or showing him.

Practice Nothing beats practice. The more experience you have the more comfortable and the more knowledgeable you will be about sex and about your partner.

Don't Fret Many women experience their first orgasm years after beginning their sex life. Those who don't achieve orgasm can still have great sex with climaxing passionate sexual arousal.

Tips for men on female orgasms:

To bring a woman to orgasm during intercourse, you're probably going to have to speed up the rhythm and push harder and deeper repetitively until she orgasms. Make sure she's comfortable at all times. Don't turn into a human jackhammer until after you've taken the time to ensure she's well relaxed, well turned on and has developed a substantial amount of lubrication. If you are behind her, use your hands to grab her breasts, stroke her underside and stimulate her clitoris.

Stimulating the breasts vagina and clitoris all at once is the fastest way to build sensation for the female. Some woman can't come during sexual intercourse unless their clitoris is stimulated directly by the fingers.

How a female orgasm feels:

As she reaches orgasm, her vagina, pubic muscles, anus and uterus all contract rhythmically, her body may arch, and/or be thrown into spasms. She'll feel a wave of pleasure passing from her genitals running down her legs and throughout her body. The pleasure from an orgasm can be so intense it cancels out the world around you. A man can never know for sure if she's really having an orgasm, but if she's suddenly screaming loudly, clutching at you with her hands, smiling big and closing or rolling back her eyes, you can wager a pretty good guess that she is.

Multiple Female Orgasms:

The best time to give a woman multiple orgasms is immediately after the first. Once she reaches that high plateau and you hear her cry out, or feel her muscles flex, back arch, or spasms, keep up what you're doing with possibly more intensity. At this time she is in a state from wear she can more easily be pushed into orgasm. You might find that you can't retain this intensity and movement without coming. This is an acquired talent usually requiring practice and experience to develop. As you become more experienced you will develop more control over your own orgasm and will be able to stimulate the woman longer before you reach orgasm.

The Male Orgasm and Ejaculation

The male orgasm is highly automatic and much more easily achieved than a woman's. Although men usually come during sexual intercourse, the following are reasons he may not:

He is overly fatigued. Sex in a hot tub or hot shower can cause a man to overheat and become fatigued as a result. Having intense sex for a long time can also tire a man out. This is why endurance training can actually make you last longer in bed.

He's under the influence of drugs. Drinking is a common deterrent to male performance during sex.

When a man feels under pressure to perform or is emotionally stressed for some reason. Especially early in a man's sex life he can feel a lot of pressure to perform. This pressure is accentuated when he's worried about being caught, worried his partner will detect his inexperience, or worried about how much time he has to finish the job.

Sometimes men put off coming because they don't want the sex to end. If he puts it off long enough, he might wear out his anatomy, making it very difficult to come. This is no tragedy. A man will have plenty of chances in his life to come.

If none of these factors come into play, eventually the man will probably come. Once he is sexually aroused to a certain point, the smooth muscle surrounding his spermatic duct will automatically contract pumping a few spurts of semen out the tip of his penis. This is called ejaculation or coming. Woman can often feel the penis growing larger just before the man comes and a throbbing when it actually occurs. After a man comes his penis will shrink, making it easier for the condom to slip off as time goes by. So as soon as the man is finished coming he needs to grab the condom firmly around the base of his penis with his thumb and fingers and gently slip his penis out of the vagina. Cuddle, wash up, and congratulations - you have successfully had sex!

Premature ejaculation

All night long! …Not likely. The average male ejaculates in less than 2 minutes after insertion, while the average woman needs at least 8-10 minutes of continuous stimulation in order to reach orgasm. Many women need a longer period of stimulation during intercourse in order to climax. This obviously brings up a problem. Men often ejaculate too soon for the woman to be sexually satisfied. Thus premature ejaculation is virtually every woman's number one complaint when it comes to intercourse.

Whenever a man ejaculates before he would like too, it’s considered premature ejaculation. In other words, the man lacks the ability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. As soon as he gets too excited he loses control and the ejaculation occurs.

Premature ejaculation usually occurs more frequently in men with less experience. Over time, a man develops more control over his orgasm and develops a sort of tolerance to pleasure. As a result, the first time a man has sex he is very likely to experience premature ejaculation. Also if a man hasn’t had sex for a significant period of time, he may have lost this “tolerance” and thus will be more likely to have premature ejaculation the first next time he has sex. This is why masturbation helps prevent premature ejaculation. It maintains a tolerance to sexual pleasure.

Fortunately there are ways to prevent premature ejaculation, some better than others. Some say breathing deeply during sex can help you achieve a relaxed state in which you’re more likely to delay your ejaculation. We’ve also heard that placing the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth can slow ejaculation. If you go to the drug store and search the Internet you’ll probably find all sorts of crazy gadgets, desensitizing creams, sprays, gels, pills, etc. Most of these are intended to decrease the pleasure you feel and thus trick your brain into delaying the ejaculation. But what’s the fun in having sex if you can’t feel your penis! Like many problems we have a choice between temporary half-ass Band-Aid solutions, and permanent long-term solutions that get to the heart of the problem. What if you find yourself in a sexual situation without your desensitizing cream? You’re out of luck. The best solutions are solutions that put you in control of your orgasms.


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